Calling all farmers; legal and illegal.  I implore you, no I beg you,  please please please destroy your banana crop.

You folks burned me earlier this week and again this morning.  God help you if I ever get into a position of authority with the Department of Agriculture.

Banana Milk
The other day I took 2 small milks from the chow hall so that I can have it for my coffee (Can you sense another immature foody issue coming up?).

So I am scanning all the milks as I prefer just to have the low fat.  Seeing nothing but half & half (yuck) and heavy cream (double yuck) my eyes finally focus on the yellow boxes that don’t say half & half or heavy cream.  Inner Voice: Sweetttttttttt normal milk.

Walking back from the chow hall I keep wondering why the boxes were yellow.  Having a gut feeling something is wrong and being unable to live in denial, I look at them more closely to read Banana milk.  Inner Voice: What the ^&^%$@%%.

Don’t Violate My Pancake
‘Twas the day of the Sabbath, when all thro’ the camp.

Not a creature was stirring, not even little haji.

The M-16s were hung by the rack with great care.

In hopes the Al Qaeda would soon be shot dead there.

The Marines were nestled all snug in their huts.

While Jonathan had visions of coffee and pancakes in his gut.

And the general is his boonie cover and I in my cap.

Had just entered the chow hall thinking about this poorly written rap.

When watching the cook sloppily poor Banana batter.

I screamed in my head ‘Oh God please don’t let him violate my plain pancake batter’.

Away to the table I flew like a flash.

Guzzled my juice in hopes that I wouldn’t toss my cookies trying to eat this trash.

War is Hell
Banana smelling French toast.

Banana milk.

Pancake batter violations.

When will this war end?

Semper Fi,

GySgt Jonathan Jenkins

Popularity: 59% [?]

The last couple of weeks neither the Marines in my workspace and I noticed new food as our shelves of goodies were not being replenished as often as they were a month or so ago.

However thanks to some of my family, the American Sheep Dogs (West Chester, PA), and new friend Cathy Bates (Collegeville, PA) we are back on track to indulgence.

Also need to thank fellow leatherneck Jim Doedderlein (U.S. Marine 1967-1970) who not only sent a hand written card but a small Marine Corps flag.  May sound odd to some but when the other warriors in the work space seen it they made mention of it.  Now we just need to find a place to hang it in here.

Please accept our gratitude for your generous donations.

Semper Fi,

GySgt Jonathan Jenkins

Popularity: 60% [?]

150 calories per Gatorade.  150.  Wow I know.  And so much sugar.  Grrrr

Well I guess I have to change another habit.  First it was cutting back on coffee and now looks like more water and less Gatorade.

Normally I drink 5 to 6 20 ounce bottles of water a day and 3 to 5 Gatorades a day.  Oh yea and of course start everyday the American way, 2 cups of java.

Now I guess cutting down to 1 Gatorade a day and going up to 8 20 ounce bottles of water is better for me.  So with those still wishing to send out goodies I ask to hold off on the Gatorade.

The only problem I have now is what to put in my water.  So much water gets boring and I have liked the Propel but of course need to check on if that’s sugar free and near to no calories. 

Anyone know?

Any other suggestions?

Semper Fi,

GySgt Jonathan Jenkins

Popularity: 40% [?]

I was hoping to go my entire vacation here in Iraq without complaining about the food because there is so much of it and it’s certainly better then an MRE (Meals Read to Eat – i.e. the pre-packaged meals that can last 7 years in a bag).

But… allow me show my true colors with my potential food issues.

First – Yuck to Bananas
Those that know me know my distain for bananas.  In fact if I was ever in a position of authority in the Department of Agriculture to rid our country of crops, bananas would be near the top of my list.  In fact, only peas and lima beans would be in front.  And yes, the french toast really does smell like bananas.  Grrrrrr

Mystery Meat Thursday
Meat should neither be a mystery nor have marks on it where the jockey was hitting it.  Thursday night dinner is supposed to be Mexican night but its more like tortilla wonderment.  I am so looking for real Mexican when I come home.

Foody – No Touchy
Not sure when and where this developed but I don’t like my food touching.  Yes may sound weird but alas I think I may get over it before I leave Iraq because these guys don’t care how your being served. 

Is this Close Encounter of the 3rd Kind?  Do I need to build a replica of a mountain?  Do I look like Richard Dryfus?  No right?  So use the whole plate!

Worst Coffee Ever
My main addictions include Family Guy, The Simpsons, and coffee.  So while it’s always nasty hot I still like (ok need) a coffee in the morning and after dinner.

I am just glad my family mailed me a small coffee pot and Dunkin Donuts coffee because what the chow hall is seriously so bad I just go without.  I think the folks reading the suggestions form memorized my poorly written vulgarity by now.

Take a Day Off Grilled Cheese Guy
I so wish they didn’t have grilled chesses every lunch and dinner.  They are so bad for you and I am too weak minded to resist.  I have cut back to just one every other day but was doing it every meal when I first got here.

Where Are The Hoagies?
There are sandwiches every meal but never a hoagie roll or the right meats. 

My Next Challenge
Philly Cheese steaks.  Yes that what they advertise but figuring coyote meat on a hotdog roll wouldn’t agree with me I have yet to brave it. 

Ok Rant Over
While it may seem like I complained a lot I do think for the most part the chow hall is the best I have ever seen in my 14 plus years.  They have meals 4 times a day and we can eat whatever we want as much as what we want.  Honestly, I cannot legitimately complain and give KBR and the Marines that oversee them kudos.

Semper Fi,

GySgt Jonathan Jenkins

Popularity: 57% [?]